Your Fractured Life
by mizzybox
Summary: Poisoned by a hollow, Ichigo may not have long to live. It is up to Renji and Rukia to find a cure, but is it too late for the Substitute Soul Reaper? Renji/Ichigo, yaoi, Rated M.
1. Hesitate

**Your Fractured Life**

Summary: Poisoned by a hollow, Ichigo may not have long to live. It is up to Renji and Rukia to find a cure, but is it too late for the Substitute Soul Reaper? Renji/Ichigo, Rated R.

A/N: I hope the way I have laid this out is not confusing - it is broken up into different days, but for the most part the days will run in sequence. This chapter will probably be the only one which is out of sequence. I got the entire story planned out, which is unusual for me because I tend to write whatever, and then think about the plot later. This story is going to be yaoi, Renji/Ichigo, and there will be lemons, so if you no-likey, no –readey, k? Also, for warnings, I will put them in for each chapter, but for this one there aren't really any warnings I need to mention. Anyway, enough of my ramble, enjoy XD

* * *

_Hesitate (chapter 1)_

**Day 9:**

Of all the ways Ichigo Kurosaki had imagined his defeat, it did not occur to him that it would be an illness to bring him down. Ichigo always wanted to fight with honour and to die fighting. There is no honour in dying from a poison that is slowly smothering him, attacking his body from the inside out.

He feels useless and pathetic. But most of all he has failed. He failed those he loved; he has failed his family and friends. How is he supposed to protect others when he can't even look after himself?

Ignoring the dull ache that is taking over his body, Ichigo turns onto his side with a stubborn determination and glances at Renji. He knows this could be the last time he sees him. His heart twists in pain, his chest aching more than the poison which is spreading through his blood.

Ichigo regrets many things. He regrets not being stronger, for being stubborn and foolish, for running into battles without thinking. But not admitting how he feels about Renji sooner? This is what pains him most - this is what he regrets.

Ichigo is calmed when he feels fingers brushing his cheek. Gentle lips soothe across his forehead.

"Renji," Ichigo sighs.

"Relax, Ichigo." Renji wraps strong arms around Ichigo's frail body, holding tight to stop the trembling that is wracking Ichigo's body from fever. Tenderly, lovingly, Renji places kisses down the side of Ichigo's neck, down to the protruding shoulder where Renji rests his head. He watches Ichigo's chest rise and fall into a slow rhythm, a bitter reminder that those breaths could be his last.

"Thank you, Renji," murmurs Ichigo.

Renji's reply is filled with doubt and pain. "For what?"

Ichigo buries his head against Renji's chest, allowing himself to be comforted by his lovers embrace, and for a moment, for just one, sweet, painful moment, he can pretend he is not about to die.

* * *

**Day 1:**

"Ichigo… hey, Ichigo."

Ichigo turns around, not because of his name being whispered from behind him, but because he really, really wanted those thin fingers to stop prodding his ribs. When he turns in his seat, Ichigo is confronted with Ishida looking more serious than his usual intense self. Ichigo frowns in question.

"I can sense there is a hollow near here," the Quincy mutters under his breath.

Silent, Ichigo nods and excuses himself from the class room, Ishida, Chad and Orihimewatching his movements carefully.

"Oh Ichigo," Orihimewhispers.

Discarding his body carefully behind a hedge, hopefully hidden well enough so no one would come across his lifeless body, Ichigo flees the school.

His skin tingles with adrenaline in anticipation of the battle ahead. He sprints and leaps from building to building, along rooftops and small buildings, the wind washing over his body and cooling his heated skin. He is able to sense the hollow now that he is closer.

"There you are." The corners of Ichigo's lips curl into a smile. He is eager to fight. It had been too long since his last battle with a hollow.

Gripping his zanpakutō at the hilt, Ichigo rushes at the hollow, slashing, slicing and thrusting his sword with fluent movements, which, to the naked eye, would be extremely hard to follow. The hollow counterattacks, its spiked arm lunging to grab Ichigo.

"That the best you got?" Ichigo gasps, the wind knocked out of him from the punch. The stubborn soul reaper shows no pain as he attacks once more, slashing once, twice, three times, against the hollows arm. Ichigo grits his teeth, frustration taking over. "Damn you!"

Ichigo jumps back when he realises the hollow is taking no damage from his relentless attacks. He tries to think of another plan, but none comes to mind and he is forced to evade the hollow rather than attacking. He ignores the dull ache that is beginning to creep up his body.

Swiftly, Ichigo drives his sword deep into the hollows chest just above the hole in the centre of its body. Ichigo grins widely as he raises the sword, slicing upwards, but before his blade is able to reach the hollows mask, he is thrown off, falling to the ground.

Laughter, terrible, overwhelming laughter fills the air, suffocating him. Ichigo pushes himself off the ground on shaky legs and continues to ignore the ebbing pain in his body.

"What's so funny, freak? You think I'm done?" Ichigo snarls, raising his zanpakutō in front of himself, the tip of his blade pointing at the hollows head. The hollow is still laughing; a deep, ferocious laugh that sends chills down Ichigo's spine.

"You won't be laughing when I'm finished with you!"

The sound of the hollow's roaring laughter stops. A kido blast connects with the creature's chest, sending it hurling into a building.

"Ichigo!"

"Rukia," Ichigo says, as his friend leaps from a building to stand next to him.

"Hello to you to," Renji snarls, although with a smile playing on his lips. "Having trouble with that hollow?"

Ichigo rolls his shoulders, stretching out his muscles. Frowning, he says, "I'm just warming up," as he lunges and swings at the hollow, not letting up his own fierce attacks.

A blast of spirit energy flies over Ichigo's shoulder, connecting with the hollows chest. _**Rukia**_, Ichigo thinks, thanking her for diverting the hollows attention and allowing him to attack in its moment of distraction.

The hollow continues to laugh. It laughs even as Ichigo plunges his sword deep into its towering body. The sound is chilling and piercing, and it seems to only get louder as the monster fights, slicing away with its sharp, spiky arms towards Ichigo.

Ichigo is grabbed once more and hurled to the floor. In an instance he is powerless. He feels weak, his heart and head is throbbing, and he struggles to keep his eyes open. When Ichigo stands, his body trembles, his stomach lurching. He is a sickly yellow colour, eyes dull and lifeless. He can't grip onto his zanpakutō any longer and it drops to the ground with a heavy thud of metal hitting mud.

"What…" Ichigo manages to stutter before throwing up, his eyes watering with each convulsion.

"What have you done to Ichigo?" He hears Rukia yell over the pounding in his head.

"Watch out!" Renji's voice sounds distant to Ichigo, even though Renji is now stood in front of him, zanpakutō raised against the hollow. "Ichigo!" Renji shouts, glancing from the shivering form lying on the floor, over to the hollow. "You…you will pay for what you've done to him," snarls Renji, his grip tightening around the hilt of his sword.

The hollow's reply causes Renji to flinch, the sound of its terrifying laughter rough with hatred.

"You monster," Rukia is screaming at the hollow, "Mask of flesh and bone, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man!" Rukia chants, frowning in concentration. "Truth and temperance, upon this sinless wall of dreams unleash but slightly the wrath of your claws. Hadō, 33!"

The explosion sends debris and dust around the hollow, covering it in a cloudy shroud. The sound of laughter disappears, and for one fleeting moment Rukia thinks she has defeated it, but there it is, a ferocious grin stretching its lips over pointed fangs. The hollow, arms stretched out, dives at Ichigo once more.

"Ichigo!" Renji takes the impact, his arm being cut from shoulder to his wrist which splits open painfully. He ignores the pain and snarls at the hollow, blood rolling down his ribs and his left arm as he struggles with the hollow, holding him away with the edge of his sword.

The hollow is laughing again and it moves suddenly, using a technique similar to that of the flash step. Then, quicker than either of the soul reapers can follow, it is gone.

"Renji, no! Forget about the hollow," Rukia demands. Renji halts, anger twisting his lips into a scowl. "Ichigo," Rukia's voice is soft, but filled with concern. Ichigo has stopped shaking now.

"Ahh," Ichigo wheezes. He drags his palm from his forehead down to his mouth, sighing. "Thanks, Rukia. Renji. I'm fine." As he says this his head pounds harder and he knows standing would likely make him throw up. But he hates the feeling of being so powerless and shrugs off Rukia's gentle hands that tries to help him stand.

"See guys," Ichigo says his voice raspy and sore, standing on unsteady feet. "I told you I was fine." He is unsure if he is trying to tell Rukia and Renji that, or himself.

Ichigo's body is wracked with tremors, uncontrollably so, his vision blurred and he can barely make out the two soul reapers before him. He brings his hand to cover the shuddering cough that wracks his body and as he pulls his hand away he realises it is covered in blood. That is the last thing Ichigo sees before he falls to the ground, unconscious.

Ichigo doesn't hear the sudden cry of Renji and Rukia shouting his name, or the gentle but firm hands stopping his fall as Renji holds the lifeless form to his chest.

* * *

I'm going to be evil and end the chapter here. Comments are much loved, and feel free to point out any mistakes, (I know there will be some, and I apologise) as this is un-betad at the moment. :)


	2. Come Whatever May

**A/N: I was going to wait for the end of the week to update, but oh well. I apologise for the shortness of this chapter, the plot doesn't really move forward that much, however, I really wanted to write these two scenes. I have the next part mostly written up, so updates should be fairly fast. **

**Also, thank you to everyone who is watching this story, it **_**really**_** means the world to me. I would love to know what you think or if you have any questions… And, if you review it could motivate me to include Renji/Ichigo in the next chapter XD**

**Your Fractured Life**

_Come Whatever May – [Chapter 2]_

**Day 1:**

"Ichigo is back in his body now, so why does he appear to be just as ill? Why didn't Renji or I get affected by the hollow?"

"He looks terrible, oh Ichigo."

"All we can do is just wait and see if he recovers. Thank you, Orihime. You have done all you can do for Ichigo right now."

Ichigo stirs awake, eyes slowly blinking open. His vision is blurred as if he is staring through a piece of dirty glass. He wonders why he is lying down, briefly disorientated and he is unable to see which only adds to his frustration. Immediately, he remembers, and the unbearable pain comes back, irritating at his sore skin.

He is able to ignore his discomfort for now. Ichigo blinks, unable to make out the faces that belong to the voices, but he presumes that he must be in Urahara's shop.

"It's rude to be talking about me when I'm right here," grumbles Ichigo, voice unsteady. He coughs, throat raw and nauseatingly itchy.

Disregarding the growing ache that is spreading through his body, Ichigo notes that he is in more pain now, compared to all prior battles he has been injured in. But he does not admit to this, nor does he want to think about what it could mean.

Ichigo uses all of his strength just to sit upright and focuses on trying to clear his vision, blinking away the fog that is clouding his sight.

"Take it easy Ichigo," he hears Urahara say. "Orihime has healed all of your wounds, but you are sick. We're not sure what the hollow did to you. We assume it will heal over time."

Ichigo feels worse now that he is back in his body, his limbs are achingly sore, his head is spinning uncontrollably and he has a horrible taste in the back of his throat that he can't quite place. "I am fine," he lies.

Urahara sighs and Ichigo knows he is not fooling anybody, let alone himself.

"Orihime, thanks for healing me," says Ichigo. Orihime timidly nods in acknowledgment.

"You to Rukia, Urahara," Ichigo continues. Blinking a few more times he is now able to see who is in the room. "Where's Renji?"

Lifting the tip of his hat, Urahara replies, "Renji is in the other room. Orihime has just finished healing his wounds." He pauses and adds, "He will be fine, nothing to worry about I'm sure."

Ichigo frowns, looking down at his fingers which are paler than his normal complexion. **Renji protected me and got cut up pretty badly… Because I'm weak**, he bitterly thinks, squeezing his fists into a tight ball out of frustration.

"It wasn't your fault, Ichigo," Rukia places a comforting hand onto Ichigo's shoulder. Warm fingers curl around his aching arm, the pad of her thumb brushing the hot skin tenderly.

"I think the best thing for Ichigo is to rest," Urahara says to Rukia and Orihime.

"And I thought I said stop talking about me as if I'm not here," Ichigo retorts, a deep frown set into place.

He feels tender lips press against his cheek; it feels cold in comparison to his overheated face and he appreciates the feeling for a short while. Ichigo is surprised and overwhelmed at the show of affection from Rukia, and it troubles him that Rukia smiles sadly when she leaves.

Alone, Ichigo is left to think. This is the last thing he wants to do when he is unable to sleep or rest, because worrying, he knows, will not get him anywhere.

Despite the discomfort that rushes through his body, he does not worry about the pain. Instead he wonders why he could not be stronger, why he allowed himself to get defeated, and why…_why_, did Renji save him?

"Renji," Ichigo murmurs, his voice tearing from his throat as he begins to cough coarsely.

Ichigo is not too surprised to see Renji standing in the doorway. He always did have bad timing. The stubborn, pale soul reaper did not want to show any sign of weakness right now, especially around Renji. Ichigo is unsure if this is due to their friendly rivalry, or, perhaps, if it is because of something else entirely.

"How you holding up, Ichigo?" asks Renji, coming to sit cross legged next to where Ichigo is resting. Renji stares curiously, leaning in closer than is probably necessary. Ichigo is used to Renji's odd behaviour and ignores the intense stare he receives.

Laughing dejectedly, Ichigo says, "I could ask you the same thing."

"You know me, I'll be fine," when Renji says this, Ichigo knows that he is not lying. But when Ichigo says he is going to be fine, it is obvious that he won't be, and he guesses it is the pained expression that creases his frowning eyebrows, or the way he coughs uncontrollably, that gives him away. Or perhaps it is because he was never that good at lying.

This close, Ichigo can clearly see the scar that has not healed properly down Renji's arm. Tentatively, he brings one shaky hand up to trace the scar that mars the otherwise perfect skin. Ichigo is unaware of Renji's reaction or the sigh that slips past his lips. His fingers continue its exploration downwards, past the scar and outlining the jagged zigzag tattoos with nimble caresses.

"Why did you do that?" Ichigo asks, lifting his eyes to meet the deep stare from Renji.

"Do what, exactly?" Renji scratches the back of his head.

Ichigo's hands drop into his lap. His prominent frown is back in place, as if he had not shown any sign of affection.

"I want to know… why you saved me back there."

"Oh," Renji murmurs, surprise lifting the corners of his eyes. He smiles, a large wolfish grin, white teeth bared and continues to say, "Well, I'm sure you would have done the same for me, right, Ichigo?"

He nods, unable to speak because he is shaking again and he can feel the cough that is creeping up from his lungs, forcing its way out of his lips. His body is overwhelmed by sudden, uncontrollable, shudders. Shamed, Ichigo covers his mouth, not wanting Renji to see him vulnerable. He trembles, his body seizing and then relaxing, his coughing progressively rougher.

Ichigo has no control over his own actions and the tears that are streaming down his face make him feel pathetic, powerless, and very, very human. He bitterly thinks how he never had to worry about illnesses before, as he was Ichigo Kurosaki, a Soul Reaper, he was powerful enough to defeat the toughest of enemies. He had to be strong, for if he wasn't, he had nothing else.

Strong arms wrap around Ichigo's shoulders, pulling him into a firm, warm chest. And now, Ichigo really is powerless. He lets Renji hold him, despite his pride aching more than the persistent coughing that wracks his body terribly. He is too tired to argue. The comforting warmth of Renji's body and his powerful spirit energy soothes him into a state of unconsciousness. Ichigo's body relaxes into the embrace and he allows himself to fall asleep.


	3. Race Against Myself

**A/N: **I found this the hardest chapter to write so far, but it is also my favourite. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing. Also again, thank you to everyone who is watching this story, don't forget to leave me a review :)

* * *

**Your Fractured Life**

_Race Against Myself – [Chapter 3]_

**Day 2:**

Ichigo is not surprised, that when he awakens the next morning, Urahara is hovering above him with that tall guy he never bothered to learn the name of. Ichigo supposes he should, since it was tall guy who helped Orihime heal him after all.

"Good morning, Ichigo. If you are wondering where Rukia is, she has gone to the soul Society," Urahara says.

Ichigo sits up, although it pains him and since awakening, it is the first time he noticed the lack of Rukia's spirit energy.

"She would have said goodbye to you, but, a situation arose which called for her immediate return to investigate."

"And by situation… you mean me, right?" Ichigo asks, frowning.

Urahara smiles sadly, and when Ichigo thinks about it, it is the first time he has seen the ex-soul reaper show any sign of unhappiness.

"That would be correct, Ichigo. You see, we ran some tests on you whilst you were unconscious. To be honest, we are all very surprised that Orihime's healing powers or our own medical treatment did not work on you and…" Urahara stops, glancing down at his wooden sandals.

"It's fatal, right." Ichigo says, rather than questioning. His voice does not falter although his heart is beating loudly in his ears. He swallows past the heavy lump in his throat as Urahara's eyes meet his own.

"I'm afraid… you may only have another week to live."

Ichigo nods, the persistent ringing in his ears getting louder and louder. He grips the side of his head, willing the pain to go away.

"Okay," he mutters, before rolling over onto his side, burying his head into the pillow to numb the pain in his aching head.

Urahara does not look away from the broken boy. His frown deepens, eyes creasing, and he takes of his hat off as he kneels beside Ichigo. "I truly am sorry, Ichigo," he says quietly, unsure if he should reach out a hand to touch him or not. "We are working on a cure, but the time we have to create one is…limited." He stops, and stands up, placing his hat back atop his head. "Rukia is searching for a cure to. We won't give up on you, Ichigo."

"Thanks." Ichigo says, the pain slowly ebbing away. Instead he feels numb, as if he is not in his own body.

He wishes that was true.

"This can't be real," he murmurs, so quietly no one else in the room hears, nor do they see how Ichigo's eyes are wet around the edge. He does not cry, nor does he feel angry or sad. He is empty.

* * *

Ichigo stares dejectedly, fixated on the dark ceiling of the empty room. He is alone, at least no one else has entered the room since he was told he may die, and he is thankful, for when his friends are around, he is bitterly reminded how weak he has become. He does not want to see them, knowing it will hurt too much, and he will always be wondering if this will be the last time he can.

Ichigo turns, lying on his front, the palms of his hands falling uselessly over the edges of the small bed.

'**Because I am weak, Rukia and Renji were put in danger. And they are all going to continually be in danger now, because I can't even look after myself. I have fallen so far and I know there is so much more I could give, and, yet I… I am going to… die. **

**But, all I feel now… is guilt.'**

Ichigo swallows around the tightness building in his throat. He wants to cry, to scream, to shout and fight. Troublesome thoughts infect his mind. He tries to sleep, to numb the pain, but he is unable to do so and instead he waits. The darkness consumes him when he closes his eyes. Ichigo wonders if this is what it will be like, if he will just blink and never open his eyes again.

He hears a click and he is suddenly aware of the room being surrounded by a bright light.

"Urahara told me…" A pause, and then, a quiet voice continues, "I'm so sorry, Ichigo."

Ichigo does not turn over to face the person belonging to the voice. He feels a warm hand gripping his bare arm, rough and soft, tender yet strong. His skin immediately warms, tingling under the surface of his cold body, gentle fingers caressing him.

"Renji," sighs Ichigo. He rolls onto his back, not wanting to see the sympathetic look of the Soul Reaper beside him. Ichigo's eyes are set into a deep frown. "Do you think sorry will make me be all right, that it will turn back time and stop me from dying?"

There is an awkward pause with only Ichigo's heavy, wheezing, pants, filling the silence.

Ichigo lifts his eyes to meet those belonging to Renji, eyes which are deep and overwhelming. It is not sympathy that he sees in amber eyes, but a shimmer of hope. Without responding, Renji leans in closer. Ichigo is unsure if it is the illness which is causing him to be lightheaded, or, if it is the way Renji's hot breath is tickling his dry mouth.

"Renji?" Ichigo tries to murmur the name out of confusion, but the sound is lost when lips are pressed against lips, demanding, yet soft and gentle. The kiss is awkward, with both soul reapers unmoving, frozen and unsure, but they are aware of how their breath quickens and how their hearts are racing out of control. Renji's mouth feels enticingly warm and wet against his own, and for one bitter sweet moment, Ichigo is able to get lost in the sensation of utter warmth and desire.

Ichigo pulls his mouth away abruptly, and turning angry eyes towards Renji, his hands fisting into a tight ball, he tries to gain back whatever little pride he had left.

"Did you do that because you are _sorry_ for me?" Ichigo spits furiously and ashamed.

"You are a fool, Ichigo." Renji whispers.

Firmly, Renji presses his lips back against Ichigo's. This kiss is more forceful than the last, and when Ichigo feels a hot tongue run along the length of his bottom lip, he sighs, allowing entrance. Their lips move and tongues search. Ichigo does not want to pull away this time, because in this moment, he is able to forget everything. He feels lost, but for once he doesn't mind, for he is lost in Renji's kiss, in his warmth, in his arms, and it takes the pain away, if only for a little while.


	4. Through The Glass

I realise I have only just updated, but I figured I may as well get them out as soon as I write them, for it is unusual for me to write this much anyway. This chapter starts off quite depressing like the rest, but I hope you enjoy the end as it gets a bit more light hearted *winks* Thanks to those of you who are watching this story, but it would be really, _really_ nice if you could leave a review *makes sad face and puppy dog eyes* I may be inclined to add more slashey scenes if I receive some reviews! Yes I am now threatening the slash lol.

Also, warning: this chapter is why the story is rated M… XD

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**Your Fractured Life**

_Through The Glass [Chapter 4]_

**Day 2:**

Renji grits his teeth as the harsh night air caresses his bare arms, wind whipping cruelly at his skin. He does not let the cold stop him from his mission, and as he slashes down the third hollow of that night, he is able to forget the boy lying ill in bed, forgetting that Ichigo is about to die.

Once the dust settles on the ground and he has sheathed his zanpakutō, he is left to his thoughts once more. Even though he tries to spare his mind the guilt of thinking about Ichigo and his looming illness, he can not.

For Renji believes he is guilty of one thing. That he is powerless.

He has the raw physical strength to destroy hollows – but, to save one person's life, _that_ is his weakness.

Without breaking a sweat, Renji could easily slay a thousand hollows, _heck_ give him a million hollows and an army of Menos Grande, if only it would cure Ichigo.

Pressing the palm of his hand to his forehead, he adopts a frown and snarls under his breath, "damn it, this is useless."

He wants to punch a wall, to scream and to shout, and so he does, drawing out his own blood as he pounds fists against a brick wall. The pain in his hands subsides the ache of his heart for a short while.

Renji presses his forehead against the flat surface, arms dropping to his sides as it begins to rain. Blood trickles off his aching hands, pooling in a puddle on the ground. His head begins to pound ruthlessly, but he takes the pain, preferring it rather than thinking about Ichigo.

Renji laughs bitterly. He is unsure if it is the rain droplets that are leaving wet streaks down his cheeks, or if he is crying.

* * *

**Day 3:**

Perched on a tower in the soul society, lost in thoughts, a lone figure sighs. A gentle breeze cools damp skin, sending a chill down the body of the soul reaper. Observing the boundaries that surround the serrate, watching innocent souls talk and laugh and work, the lonely soul reaper cries.

"Ichigo…"

Rukia wipes at her eyes briskly, grimacing as more tears pour down her face.

**A soul reaper must not be weak like this.** **If only I was stronger,** Rukia scolds and thinks to herself, **I could have got there before Ichigo, and defeated that damn Hollow. **She screws her fists up tightly, knuckles going white as she leaps from the tall building.

She had been in the Soul Society for two days now, but she was not any closer to understanding Ichigo's illness, nor was she able to find any clues as to how to cure him.

Her last hope was to speak to 12th Division Captain Kurotsuchi, and hope he is willing to share any information he has stored in the database. But the likelihood of him wanting to help Ichigo was slim to none, and if that was the case, she would have to get that information by another means. Even if that meant breaking in to the 'Research and Development Facility' and risking punishment.

She would much prefer to endanger her own life than allow Ichigo's to waste away.

* * *

Renji is awoken to light shining in his eyes, blinding him, but it is nothing compared to the noise of people struggling and the sound of arguments coming from outside his door. He sighs when he recognises whom the voices belongs to. Leaving his small bedroom in only his boxers and shrugging on a white t-shirt, Renji comes face to face with a livid Ichigo and a flustered looking shopkeeper, who is in the throes of trying to force the stubborn substitute soul reaper back into bed.

"Ichigo, the best thing you can do is rest right now!"

"I have done nothing _but_ sleep. I feel fine!"

"I will not allow you to train. The stress it will cause on your body could be harmful!" Urahara argues, gripping Ichigo by the shoulders as he attempts to push him through the door back into his bedroom.

"I'll keep an eye on him," Renji says. "Ichigo seems to be all right at the moment. I'm sure he could cope with a little bit of training."

"I hate it when people talk about me like I'm not here." Ichigo turns a glare at Renji. "And, that seems to happen a lot recently," he mumbles.

Renji grins back at the frowning boy and slaps Urahara on the back. "Come on, give him a break. If this is what Ichigo wants, I'm sure he can make up his own mind."

Urahara allows his grip to loosen, dropping his hands, defeated. "Use the training room downstairs, I'm not going to risk you running into any hollows outside." He demands, and leaves before either soul reaper can argue.

"Renji…" Ichigo begins, the corners of his lips twisting into a small smile, rather than his prominent frown. "Thanks. But really, you don't need to worry, I do feel fine… At least… for now I do."

Renji's looks down at his bare feet, sighing. "That's good to hear, Ichigo… Well, are we going downstairs to train then?"

A light pink colour creeps over Ichigo's otherwise pale cheeks. "Urm… yeah. But, aren't you going to get changed first?" Ichigo's eyes roam down a tight fitting t-shirt, over boxers and down firm legs, lingering, perhaps, a bit too long, before he averts his attention elsewhere.

Renji notices Ichigo's reaction and resists the temptation of goading the boy. Instead he laughs it off whilst walking back into his room to throw on his gi.

* * *

Training only lasts for 20 minutes before Ichigo is feeling distressed and out of breath, but he tries to ignore the pain in his limbs, which is mostly due to the poison in his system rather than the strain of fighting.

Ichigo thrusts his sword at Renji, gripping at the hilt of his zanpakutō tightly, struggling to keep his grip firm. He wants to prove to the other Soul Reaper -but more than that, he _needs_ to prove to himself that he is well enough to fight. If he can at least feel somewhat like his old self, where fighting and taking down hollows was only second nature, perhaps he could force his body to get better.

"Not bad, Ichigo," taunts Renji, smirking. Lunging at Ichigo and knocking Zangetsu from his hands. He grabs Ichigo's fingers firmly, interlocking them as he thrusts the defiant boy to the ground, landing gently atop him. "But you really shouldn't let your guard down."

Ichigo is reminded of their kiss from the previous night. Renji's lips are enticingly close to his own, their breath warm against his cold skin and heating his cheeks into a permanent flush. Ichigo sighs, steadying his breathing. He wants to blame his rapidly beating heart rate on his illness, but he discerns it is due to Renji being agonisingly close.

"Damn… Renji," Ichigo mutters, out of breath.

Alarmed, Renji apologises profusely, believing he hurt Ichigo. "I'm sorry, that was stupid of me. I shouldn't have done that," he begins, but is stopped when moist lips are roughly pressed against his own, shutting him up with a forceful kiss.

"Ichigo?" Renji asks questioningly, pulling away.

Ichigo's only reply is to smile and switches their positions, so now he is the one pinning Renji to the ground. His smile widens into an accomplished smirk.

"You're not going to break me, Renji. I thought I told you already – I'm fine," he says.

Neither one has the words to express what they are thinking, nor perhaps are words even needed, for what better way than sweet, stolen, kisses, to say… _I need you_.

Renji is the first to move, wrapping strong arms around Ichigo's neck in a tight embrace and pulling their mouths together. Both sigh into the heated kiss, tongues and lips slipping and sliding as they battle for dominance, sparring in a new, more pleasurable, kind of way. Their hands roam and search up and down arms, around the sides of firm chests, electing sweet moans out of their mouths.

Impulsively, Ichigo grinds down against Renji's firm body, causing friction against their groins. He is pleasantly surprised when he feels fingers sneak down his chest that rub against his growing hard-on. He groans softly against Renji's mouth. Their kiss is fiercer, full of want and need and lust. Neither one wants to relinquish their control and so they battle, in a sensual sweep of their tongues, pleasantly moaning into each other's mouths.

Ichigo's head begins to spin out of control, abruptly feeling woozy and light headed. Ichigo grunts, not wanting to lose the heat and contact of Renji's body, but his displeasure is soon gone when it is replaced with agonising pain shooting down his chest, hitting the pit of his stomach. He kneels above Renji, still straddling him as waves of nausea overcome him.

Realising what is happening; Renji sits up, folding Ichigo against his chest in a loose hug. Ichigo tries to break away, as if some part of him does not want to depend on anyone else, but Renji does not let go, nor does he want to. He feels Ichigo's tears falling onto his shoulder, making his gi damp, but that is the least of his concerns. Ichigo's body shudders violently from the pain, and Renji holds him through it all, until the tremors stop and Ichigo no longer wheezes from the agony.

Silence.

Concerned, Renji whispers, "Ichigo?"

Renji can hear his own heart ringing in his ears, persistent, and loud, full of worry. He is thankful for when he feels Ichigo's pulse, beating gently against his own chest.

He knows this is only the beginning of something much worse.

Gripping Ichigo tightly in his arms, Renji lifts him effortlessly, holding Ichigo against his chest, carrying the unconscious boy back into Urahara's shop, to be placed into bed. After removing Ichigo's damp clothing, he wraps him up in covers and leans back in a chair to observe him, ensuring that Ichigo does not get affected by another, unannounced, attack.

Tentatively, Renji strokes his fingers through the orange mop of hair. Ichigo's outbreak had frightened Renji, for it was unexpected and made him realise just how serious this situation really was. He frowns and decides to tell Urahara of what happened in the morning.

Consumed by sleep, Renji allows himself to drift off, his hand staying clutched against Ichigo's scalp affectionately.

* * *

Ichigo awakens, alarmed and disorientated, the darkness around him is overwhelming until he recognises where he is and presumes Renji must have brought him back to his bedroom. He feels something warm against the side of his face, and reaching for it he sighs lightly when his fingers come into contact with Renji's hand.

Desolately, he smiles, tracing Renji's fingers with his own. However, his grin disappears when he brushes over rough cuts along the knuckles of the Soul Reapers hand.

He turns over onto his side, squinting to make out the form of Renji. In the darkness, he is able to see that Renji is in a deep sleep, although obviously very uncomfortable in the small wooden chair, his long legs stretched out before him, head tilting to one side as he breathes gently.

"Fool," whispers Ichigo tenderly.

Exhausted eyes close wearily, and Ichigo falls back into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

**Ahhh, I'm sorry I ruined the moment with Ichi collapsing! But I promise, they **_**will**_** get another good scene… but only if you review XD**


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